Days have gone by. They have turned into weeks. WEEKS have gone by. Then we get a phone call! Hooray! Joy! Something is happening!
Wait? What? No. Nothing is happening.
We told the Big Box Store that we would be leaving for California, and if we needed to do ANYTHING before we left, they should let us know. Being told there was nothing we could do, we drove four hours away.
By the way, you don’t know what fun is until you, your spouse (neither of which could be described as “svelte“), and three cats (one of which is also not at all svelte), cram into a Smart Car. With the rest of what you own. For four hours. Through the desert. In July.
Probably shouldn’t help AwesomeK drive.
ALL the cats on Saucy G
Matilda Pants is NOT amused.
Lana stole the bed. Matilda plots her demise.
After the ride of a lifetime (or the ride that felt like a lifetime? Either way…) we ended up Altadena! We settled into our very nice Air BnB, and waited. After about a week and a half, we finally got a phone call! YAY! Something was happening! Wait…no…no..instead we were told that we needed to come back to Vegas. Apparently they hadn’t had a chance to look at the RV yet, because of all the debris. Oh? Is this not something that could have been taken care of BEFORE we drove away? Yes, it could have, by the way, but we were told everything was cool. It wasn’t.
So, we hopped back in the car (sans Mews), and drove the four hours back to Vegas.
Do you want to know another way to have ALL the fun? Clean out the carcass of your dead dreams, throwing away ruined and broken goals, all the while in 115 degree heat. OH, and the carcass of your dreams is at least 120 degrees or more? By the way, the holding tanks have probably melted, because they sure smell like they have. That is a very distinct, and unique, smell. Rotten fridge, boiled waste, melted plastic, and despair all mixed together under the Nevada sun.
After about two hours, uncountable trash bags, blood, sweat, tears, and only a little bit of gagging, we finally got all the trash and ruined things out. We moved the rest of the things to the bunk area, and out of the way of anyone who needed to get in and get to work.
During all this we found a few more things were missing. There was the weird stuff – like the coffee press, the rack of knives was literally torn off the wall, and the jar of cooking utensils. Then there was the devastating. That term gets used a lot when describing all this, but there it is (and Saucy G doesn’t feel like using a thesaurus right now). We mentioned previously that the thieves had desecrated the urns we were transporting, and that they had tossed the urns around. Turns out they also STOLE one of the urns. STOLE. AN. URN. Who does that? After finding the first SIX urns, they get to the SEVENTH URN and thought, “you know what? They can’t ALL have ashes in them, lets just take this one.” Maybe they thought they needed an urn. MAYBE they were just trying to hurt us as much as possible.
WHO STEALS AN URN?!
We packed up what was we could into the SmartCar, and got ready to drive the four hours back. Stopping into the office of the Big Box to let them know we were done, we were then informed that they would not be able evaluate the RV for three weeks. THREE. WEEKS. Just to ASSESS IT! All the while, it is sitting in the Vegas sun, tires exposed, wires exposed, holes in the hull…then when they DO finally assess it, then the insurance company will decide if it going to be totaled or if they are going to fix it, and what they are going to fix. Which might not be everything. THEN it will take AT LEAST another couple of weeks JUST TO GET A WINDOW! Not any of the other parts, or fix any of the other things.
Want more good news? Well! Worry not! There’s more!
Remember the Casino where we were parked? Where we were assured by security that the RV would be ok? Parked under a camera, under a light, where it was stolen in broad daylight? Under the “watchful” eye of security? Who then LITERALLY LAUGHED IN OUR FACES? Oh yeah, so, we got a letter from them this morning stating that they found themselves not liable. Surprise surprise. They thought they didn’t do anything wrong, and we are outta luck. No, there was no number to call or any way to appeal. Thanks a lot, Casino. Again, a real kick in the gut. Not even a comped meal, or a “hey, sorry your entire house was stolen under our watch, and your dreams crushed, here is a coupon for a buffet.” Nothing. Just a one page letter telling us to go away.
Now we are back to hurry up and wait, while wallowing.
This is the exact opposite of awesome. UNAwesome. The Anti-Awesome.
Thankfully the Mews are happy and healthy and safe. We are safe. So, here we are, and here will wait until something else happens with the RV and we can move a step forward. Maybe. Hopefully.
Anyone want to go sit on the beach with some (possibly adult) beverages? We need a beach day.
Rating: You sit down at a table, then get moved to another table. The table you were just on, and got moved from, just one a Jackpot, and everyone at the that table gets $400. You get no dollars.
Adventures hardly ever go according to plan. That is easily an understatement when it comes to ours, but lets not get into that here.
Due to circumstances (STILL looking at you, Thief. May you step in cat barf every morning…) beyond our control, we found new ways to adventure in Vegas! We found ourselves in a Casino Hotel on the Strip, which is fancy, AND expensive.
Adventure Pro Tip: If you are thinking of going to Vegas, and will have access to a car (which is a good idea and a bad idea), then it is best to stay OFF the strip. There are a plethora of other options, and some even have a shuttle service to the Strip.
When we go to Vegas, we usually stay in a Caesar’s Entertainment Property. We have had decent luck with comps, and they are familiar territory. What are comps, you ask? WELL! What a wonderful and weird world you are about to embark on! First off, whenever you go to a casino, make sure you get a Players Card. You can get one at any Customer Service Desk, or they can tell you where to go to get one. You will need a photo ID, so they know you are you. They will ask for a mailing address – you are welcome to decline – or you can give them one. We always give them a mailing address, because they will send fancy coupons in the mail! As far as we know they don’t sell your address to anyone, but don’t quote us. These fancy mail coupons will offer COMPS! Comp is a lingo way of saying complimentary, or comepleaseplayhere. Sorta. The fancy mail coupons usually have comps for free buffet, some free “slot play” where they give you fake money on slot machines that you can turn into real money, or table play, which works the same. Fake money to possibly earn real money. The best comps are when they offer you a free stay! These are becoming more and more scarce, but they do still happen.
To earn these magic comp points, you use your players card at EVERY SINGLE THING in the casinos. Buying an overpriced coffee? Make sure to ask for points and give them your card. Eating dinner? Grab those points! Of course, the easiest way is to use your card whenever you play. You can put the card in all the slot machines, and leave it in during your play. You can also earn points (maybe?) playing table games and poker. Be sure to hand them your shiny new card so you get credit for your play. The card itself can also be used to redeem points at buffets, gift shops, and sometimes on your hotel stay.
WHEW! SO, after your not-so-brief comp tutorial, now you are ready to find a place to stay! As we mentioned, we usually stay at a Caesar’s Property, because of the magic comps, and what nottery. However, this year we had a CAR! Traffic can be mildly terrifying on the Strip, but the rest of Vegas is pretty easy to navigate, and opens up a whole new realm of places to go, places to stay, and ways to adventure. After we left the Strip, we went to our very first Air BnB, just a ways off the Strip. It was amazing! Well, it was different, and cheaper, and amazing in that we had never stayed at an Air BnB before.
Air BnB is a fancy new way to stay places. You can rent almost anything from a person, from a couch to crash on all the way to a penthouse suite. If a person has a space available for you to stay, they advertise on Air BnB. We found some interesting listings, to say the least. Luckily we found a place that allowed our Mews, was less expensive than a Casino Hotel, was a private space (not crashing on a couch or a spare bedroom), and was inside a gated community. It wasn’t perfect, but it was good for a week. (A coupon for you! A coupon for me! Hooray! www.airbnb.com/c/genevieves161)
With the freedom of our little tiny car, and the Air BnB all set up, we set out to adventure a wee bit! We were still a bit shaken, not stirred, about our recent defilination (Saucy G decrees that this is now a word. Defilination – When something has been defiled recently, in the past tense, to an extreme. You’re welcome), so we kept to places we were somewhat familiar with, or that seemed safe. We also stuck pretty close together, and not just because our car is the size of a Matchbox.
One of the things we were able to do was to check out Casinos NOT on the Strip! The Orleans is probably the closest to the Strip, and the nicest that we found. If you like slot machines, this place has A TON. There is also a decent sized poker room, LOTS of table games, and a who slew of other things to do! They have a bowling alley, movie theater, kids areas, and lots of different food options. We heard from a reliable source that their laundry service is also very reasonable. They DO NOT, however, allow pets. So, keep that in mind when traveling with your own pet crew. With the re-introduction of UBER to Las Vegas, you can also grab a quick ride from there to the Strip, if you were feeling so inclined. This really is a nice one-stop-shop if you are planning on a stay. Clean, nice, we give it a solid Flush (rating based on the fact that we did not actually stay there, and cannot speak for the rooms. Also, the whole No Mews for Yous policy is a bummer). (Here is an Uber Coupon for you, and one for me! Hooray!! https://www.uber.com/invite/genevieves489ue)
Another place we checked out was Arizona Charlies. This is a local favorite, so we had to see what there was to see. If you are a smoker, this is the place for you! Also, if you prefer low lighting, this will also be high on your list. The slot machines were ok, and the people were VERY nice. The poker area was…well…it left a lot to be desired. Poker, however, is not their main focus. If you want Bingo, then look no further! Charlies has the biggest, brightest, and wildest Bingo Hall Saucy G has seen in a while. It is very clean, well lit, seems to be smoke free, and there is a game every odd hour, so you never have to wait long to get into the action. The Bingo Hall is located on the second floor, next to the 24 Hour Buffet. If Bingo is your Bag, then Charlies is for you. The dining there also surprisingly spectacular! At Ron’s Steakhouse they have (or had, hopefully it is still there when you go), an incredible three course steak dinner deal for $27.99. You get an appetizer, then you get a starter of salad or soup of the day, then you can choose from a few different steak options. Sides can be added for an extra fee, that might be $2? THIS is a hidden steak gem, and is not to be missed. Reservations not necessary, however they are closed on Mondays and Tuesdays, opening for dinner at 4pm to 9pm the rest of the week. Ron’s Steakhouse gets a Flush with a Straight Flush Draw. Arizona Charlies (without rating Bingo, and Ron’s is a separate rating) gets a high Pair. The smoking, poker area, slots, and lighting left a lot to be desired. Like we said, though, the people are SUPER NICE, so they get the higher rating.
Finally, we decided to go to a place that was literally calling our name…the ADVENTUREDOME! The Adventure Dome is located inside Circus Circus, which is a whole different world of entertainment. If you have kids, and don’t mind crazy crowds, Circus Circus might be worth a look. Above the main slots area is a whole area dedicated to kids. It is JAM PACKED with carnival games, arcades, a McDonalds, and everything a kid could want. It is very camping (camping = Where do you sleep, when you go camping? In Tents. Intense. Camping is the AwesomeSauce way of saying something is intense. Again, you’re welcome), and very loud. The arcade was pretty sweet, with a lot of different games. Most games were $1 to play, so keep that in mind. We didn’t play any carnival games, so we don’t know their prices. The most notable thing at Circus Circus, however, is the live circus acts that go on above the gaming area. They have high flying acrobats, jugglers, a hula hoop lady, and they all perform above your head as you play. Shows are generally every half hour, but worry not. They will announce when they next show will begin, so you won’t miss a thing. Now, lets get to the meat and taties part of this adventure, The. Adventure. Dome.
AHHH! TIGER! *Not a real tiger
This is amazing, and I need him in my house
This place is AMAZING! Granted, it is not the largest theme park in the world, but what it lacks in size it makes up for in awesome. We highly recommend you get the All Day Pass. The All Day Pass covers most of the rides there, and if you plan on riding rides, it is the best deal. It pays for itself after three rides, basically. It does not cover mini golf, but we got a coupon for a substantial discount when we got our passes. It also does not cover the Sponge Bob experience, which we were ok with. Probably the best part about the Adventure Dome was that there were virtually no lines. At all. We went on a weekday, so that probably had something to do with it, but it even with school being out the lines were almost non existent.
The rides. Oh the rides. Turns out AwesomeK is a bit of a rollercoaster junkie, which is awesome. If you want to see a grown man light up like it’s Christmas and you just gave him a puppy, take AwesomeK to rollercoasters. The first ride we dared was the Canyon Blaster (spoiler video HERE). It is a wee whip-lashy for Saucy G tastes, but it was AWESOME! It took two late 30s somethings, and turned them into giggling, screaming kids again. That right there is worth the price of admission! The second coaster, which is conveniently located at the exit of the Canyon Blaster, was the EL LOCO! There are no words, really. It was, well, Loco. This is probably one of the best coasters Saucy G has been on! Not at all whip-lashy, and it has all the things you could want in a ride. Upsidedowns, corkscrews, screams, all the things. It was AMAZING!!! THREE EXCLAMATION POINTS! LOUD NOISES! *ahem* Anyway, El Loco is not to be missed. If you go, and only pay for one coaster, make it this one. Adventure Dome also has the “take you straight up in the air, then drop you like a silly” ride, which is always a favorite. The going up was scarier than the coming down, and the up is VERY high in the dome, which is pretty sweet. They have other standards, such as the swingy boat thingy, the ride that takes you up then flips you upside down a few times, the one that is all the spinny, on a spinny, which has more spinny (too much spinny for Saucy G), and a few others. There is also a great kid area, with less camping rides for smaller folks.
That guy can’t believe how awesome Canyon Blaster is
They have a couple of theater style adventure rides, which (we think) are also covered in the All Day Pass. One of which was the “Pacific Rim” attraction. Rarely will we ever give a very negative review. To each is own, and everyone likes different things. We don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade, so unless something is so awful and should be avoided at all costs, we do our best not to be negative. The Pacific Rim attraction is one of those rare exceptions. Please, please do not do this. Learn from our adventure. The “ride” is the only real wait we encountered at the Dome, which had us a little excited. Saucy G really enjoyed the film, so this was going to be, hopefully, a highlight of the day. No. NO! First you wait in line, and watch a clip from the movie. Cool. Gets you excited. Right on. When it is your turn, you get filed into a small dark room. OOOH! EXCITING! THEN! WITHOUT WARNING! Nothing. Nothing happens. One small TV, which is awkwardly placed so that only two people can really see it, plays the same clip of the movie you just watched while waiting in line. After the clip is over, you wait in awkward silence, in this closed off black room, for what feels like an eternity. Finally, when you are almost done contemplating all of life’s mistakes that got you to this point, you are ushered into another small room with seats. You buckle yourself in and wait. Finally a projector that is in much need of repair begins to play a scene from the movie. You are supposed to feel like you are in the giant machine, fighting a beast from the depths of the ocean – possibly another dimension – but instead you are assaulted on all angles. You view is not that of the cockpit, but rather you are just watching the movie. The platform you strapped yourself to starts to move and jerk in what, we can only assume, is supposed to be in time with the good guy’s machine. Instead it just jerks you around sort of willy nilly. The hectic jerking could make anyone nauseous, which is the only thrill of the ride. Will I barf everywhere? Will I get a migraine? Who knows!
After being tossed around like a rag doll, while a broken projector plays a scene from the movie, and the speakers crackle with the familiar sound of brokeness, the ride stops. You are then ushered out, and back into the world. You didn’t even save humanity from the beast! At all cost, please please please avoid the Pacific Rim attraction.
Other than the complete assault on the senses from Pacific WhyGodDidIRideThat, the Adventure Dome gets a SOLID Full House. SOLID. Almost Quads. Absolutely worth it. Great family fun, and not TOO pricey. They might even have a Groupon available, or other such coupon, so keep a keen eye out.
There you have it. Our Post RV Apocalypse Adventures in Las Vegas! Overall it was a lot of fun, and we didn’t die! We will, of course, be back to Vegas. Next time probably without the Mews, and hopefully with less loss up front. Hope you enjoyed! If we missed something, if you have adventure tips for fellow travelers, or want to let us know what you think – please comment!
After leaving Meteor Crater Park (post coming soon), we headed to Vegas Baby!
Every year the AwesomeSauce Duo go to the World Series of Poker, held at the Rio in Las Vegas. This year would be no different. Well, a little different. We were bringing our house, belongings, and the Mews team with!
We prepared for the heat (we thought). We had tested, and retested the “house” air conditioning. We had it inspected by professionals. We bought a secondary floor unit for when we were plugged in. We had been making ice for days.
At the KOA at Sam’s Town, we plugged in and cranked it up.
Then the circuits blew.
Then they blew again.
Then the Mews started to melt.
After trying everything, and calling everyone in the city, we decided it was safer to put us and the Team up in a hotel. The Mews are too important to be left in the heat.
We were told by the hotel casino security to park our beloved RV in the oversize parking lot. There are cameras, lights, and security checks the lot periodically, so we felt sort of ok leaving our home there. We took some clothes, our cash, our Team, and checked in.
We checked on it Friday. We checked on it Saturday. We checked on it Sunday.
Our home was stolen on Monday.
It was stolen from the parking lot at 10:45am on Monday, June 27th.
It is white with blue trim, with two large logos. Our family crest on the back that says “AwesomeSauce Duo” with cats, bacon, playing cards, etc. The other large sticker is the link to our website on the drivers side, http://www.AwesomeSauceAdventure.com
We filed reports with Bally’s and Metro PD.
Everything we owned (basically) was in the motorhome.
One of the things that hurts the most was we were transporting seven urns. My (Saucy G) great grandparents, my grandparents, my mother, my father in law (Awesome Ks dad) and our cat, former Head of Security, Secret Agent Sam.
The remains of Saucy Gs family were left to her to spread their ashes in Reno and Catalina, CA. All we really want are the urns back. They mean a lot to us.
There was a lot of other stuff, too, but we know that recovery of that is less than likely. The fishing gear that belonged to Saucy G that had so much sentimental value. The book of crushed pennies the Duo was collecting at each stop. The books. The photos. The dvds, games. The travel scrapbook. The hand made quilt and blanket, the AwesomeSauce pillow that were wedding presents. Everything.
Not only did someone steal our home, and our relatives remains, they crushed us emotionally. We had just started this incredible adventure after years of planning, saving, and dreaming. We are devastated.
We are trying to keep our sense of humor, though. We are ok. The Mews are ok.
In addition to our home, they took the Smart Car trailer that was attached to the back.
If you happen to see a motor home with large AwesomeSauce stickers, Colorado Plate MQT-304, please contact Metro police and reference event number 16 0628-2051. Telephone 702-828-3204
Thank you so much for your time, and any help would be greatly appreciated.
TL:DR, Motorhome/house and trailer were stolen. Giant AwesomeSauce Duo sticker on the back. Please call police if spotted.